A young child asks you to explain the Christmas spirit to them. What do you say?

No story, hand them a kitty

Perform the "Christmas Carol"

Offer an unrelated anecdote

Answer in an ancient language

Send the child to work, no stories!

Burp in their face and stumble off

Monologue for 4 hours

You are stranded and out of food. What do you eat?

Nothing, feed the kitty

Imagine food; how lovely!

Anything, everything, a reindeer

Nothing, welcome oblivion

Perform a cost/benefit analysis

Make alchohol out of your tears

Develop a resistance to hunger

The elves threaten to unionize due to no benefits and poor working conditions. What do you do?

Kitties make everything better

Offer platitudes and cocoa

Cook a meal to calm them

Sacrifice everyone to the dark

Fire the elves; hire contractors

Con the elves into paying you dues

Throw Christmas Cheer at them

You see a person yelling “Santa is a fraud” at a mall Santa. What is your totally fair response?

Hiss at the heretic

Give them a hug

Offer some gumbo; they're hangry

Carve an arcane symbol on them

Fire the mall Santa

Pickpocket them

Slow mo Cheer punch them

You drop down a chimney into home #2,782,289. The parents are still awake and are staring at you from the couch. What happens next?

Ignore parents; pet kitty

Give a jolly laugh

Toss a jar of spices at them

Sacrifice them to dark gods

Fire the parents; hire new ones

Knock them out; steal everything

Repeatedly apologize for the intrusion

A cat jumps onto your shoulder and purrs while you are delivering presents. What is the cat’s fate?

Add the kitty to your brood

Tie a Christmas ornament to it

Make kitty gumbo

Give it dark powers

Ugh, get it off the suit

Steal its collar; get it drunk

Turn it into your sidekick

You are Santa, Warden of the North. Before you lies the orc army. What epicness occurs?

Unleash the cat horde

Add the orcs to the naughty list

Offer a pot of crawfish

Cast insanity on them

Hire them as mercenaries

Fly away in the sleigh

Charge the army

You are the Yule Cat Lady!

Jólakötturinn is an Icelandic folk tale. The Yule Cat could detect lazy children to munch on. While you are not a cat, you are cat crazy enough to be the Yule Cat Lady.

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You are the 'Standard' Santa!

Congratulations! You are perfectly saccharine, sunshiney, and filled with rainbow farts. Please report to the local Holiday Mentality office for retraining.

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You are the Cajun Santa!

C'est magnifique! You are willing to eat anything with a little bit of seasoning and you carry that Cajun cheer around always. Just don't eat other Good Citizens!

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You are the C'thulhu Santa!

fhtagn gof'nn ch'ftaghu shugg k'yarnak li'hee n'gha

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You are the Corporate Santa!

You promote synergistic solutions at the North Pole office of Yuletide, Inc. You believe that all problems can be solved by a hard worker devoting their all to the company. There is only the company.

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You are the Bad Santa!

OK, you are an jerkwad. You know that right? Seriously with the punching, burping in faces, and being a general disgrace? Be a Good Citizen for once and report to the local Holiday Mentality office for retraining.

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You are the Anime Santa!

You are all about the shiny, ridiculous intros and loooooooooong glorious battles. You are frequently shirtless, even if that's not nice to anyone around you. You have three final Holiday forms, but two of them can only be unlocked by the precise circumstances of the season or series finale.

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